Menopause, Mood Swings & Besties: Why Our Girlfriends Are the Ultimate Remedy

Written By: Health Coach Tonya Fines

Because Sometimes the Best Medicine for Menopause Is Laughter, Honesty, and the Woman Who Already Knows Where You Hid Your Reading Glasses

Ladies… let’s talk about the real MVPs of midlife:

Our best girlfriends.

Menopause can be one heck of a wild ride.

One minute, you’re laughing at a meme about forgetting why you walked into a room and the next, you’re in a full-blown existential crisis because you can’t find your reading glasses, which are on your head.

On. Your. Head.

It’s an emotional rollercoaster, and let’s be honest, who better to scream through the twists and turns of menopause than your best girlfriend?

Because your bestie is the one who will look at you while you’re fanning yourself with a restaurant menu, sweating through a perfectly cute blouse, and say:

“Yep. Same thing happened to me in Target last week.”

And somehow, just like that, you feel less crazy.

Less alone.

Less like your body has been taken over by a tiny hormonal gremlin with a wicked sense of humor.

Science Says Friendship Matters

Guess what? Science backs it up too.

Having a close, supportive female friend can do wonders for your mental health, especially during life transitions like menopause. Your bestie isn’t just your brunch buddy or shopping partner—she’s your built-in therapist, mood booster, and possibly the only person who truly understands why you suddenly need to fan yourself in a grocery store freezer aisle.

And let’s be real, that freezer aisle can feel like a five-star wellness retreat when a hot flash hits.

Forget the spa.

Give me frozen peas, cold air, and a girlfriend who doesn’t judge me for standing next to the ice cream section like I’m having a spiritual awakening.

Connection Is Powerful

You know that feeling you get when you’re laughing so hard with your best friend that you can’t breathe, your face hurts, and maybe—just maybe—you peed a little?

That’s connection in action.

That’s your nervous system exhaling.

That’s your body saying:

“Oh thank goodness, I am safe here. I can let go for a minute.”

Oxytocin, often called the love hormone, is released when we experience bonding and connection with others. It plays an important role in trust, emotional connection, and the calming response we feel when we’re with someone who truly understands us.

And sometimes your best friend understands you better than anyone.

She knows when your “I’m good” actually means, “I’m two seconds away from losing my mind.”

She knows when you need advice.

She knows when you need silence.

She knows when you need fries.

A 2022 study published in Menopause found that women with strong social support experienced fewer depressive symptoms, lower anxiety levels, and better overall well-being during menopause.

Your Bestie Might Be the Best Prescription

Now, to be clear, your bestie does not replace your doctor, therapist, hormone specialist, or healthcare provider.

But the right female friendships can be medicine for the soul.

They help regulate stress.

They remind you who you are when you feel like you’ve lost yourself.

They give you a soft place to land when life feels too loud.

And during menopause, that matters more than we often realize.

Let’s be honest—not everyone understands the joy of a perfectly chilled bedroom or why you suddenly cry at dog food commercials.

But your bestie?

She gets it.

She gets the 3 a.m. wake-ups.

She gets the hot flashes.

She gets the brain fog.

She understands those moments when you walk into the kitchen, completely forget why you’re there, walk out, remember, walk back in, and then forget again.

She gets it because she’s living it, has lived it, or loves you enough to learn the language of it.

Laughter Is Therapy in Leggings

One of the greatest gifts of friendship is laughter.

Research shows that laughter can help reduce stress and boost feel-good chemicals in the body.

You know the laugh I’m talking about.

The ugly laugh.

The laugh where no sound comes out.

The laugh where you’re bent over, wiping tears, trying to breathe, and one of you says:

“Stop, stop, I’m going to pee.”

Which only makes both of you laugh harder.

That laugh is healing.

That laugh is therapy in leggings.

Because sometimes what we need most is not someone trying to fix us.

Sometimes we need someone to sit beside us in the middle of the madness and say:

“Girl, same.”

The Power of Being Witnessed

There is so much power in being witnessed by another woman.

Not judged.

Not corrected.

Not dismissed.

Witnessed.

There is power in saying:

“I feel off today.”

“I don’t feel like myself.”

“I need support.”

And having someone respond with compassion instead of confusion.

Because menopause is not just hot flashes and missed periods.

It can be grief.

Identity shifts.

Body changes.

Feeling invisible one minute and overstimulated the next.

Wanting solitude and connection at the exact same time.

And then your bestie shows up.

Maybe with coffee.

Maybe with a meme.

Maybe with a walk.

Maybe with an eight-minute voice note that is somehow exactly what you needed.

The Magic of Grown-Woman Friendship

The loyalty of our best girlfriends is something magical.

She reminds you to take your supplements.

She texts, “Did you move today?”

She drags you to yoga when you’d rather binge-watch Netflix.

A good girlfriend doesn’t shame you into taking care of yourself.

She loves you toward it.

She says:

“Come walk with me.”

“Drink some water.”

“Book the appointment.”

“You are exhausted, not falling apart.”

“That outfit is fabulous. Wear it.”

“You are still beautiful.”

And sometimes she says the thing you don’t want to hear but absolutely need to hear.

That is a sacred kind of friendship.

The Science Behind “Tend and Befriend”

Licensed therapists often emphasize the importance of social support in managing stress and mental health.

Researcher Dr. Shelley Taylor coined the term “tend and befriend” to describe how women often cope with stress through connection and support rather than isolation.

When stress hits, many women don’t just want to run or fight.

We want to reach.

We want to connect.

We want to call the woman who knows the full backstory.

We want to be reminded that we are not navigating this life alone.

And if you’ve ever felt instantly better after talking with your best friend, it’s not just in your head.

It’s science.

How to Keep the Bestie Bond Strong

Schedule Girlfriend Time

Whether it’s coffee, a monthly menopause vent session, or a quick phone call, put it on the calendar.

It’s an appointment with joy.

An appointment with connection.

Laugh on Purpose

Send the meme.

Tell the story.

Bring up the ridiculous thing that happened fifteen years ago that still makes both of you laugh until your mascara is in danger.

Joy sometimes needs an invitation.

Be Vulnerable

Real connection happens when we’re honest.

Say:

“I’m having a hard day.”

“I feel lonely.”

“I need support.”

Let yourself be seen.

Encourage Wellness Together

Go for walks.

Try yoga.

Share healthy recipes.

Drink your water.

Take your supplements.

Support each other without turning wellness into another full-time job.

Create a Menopause Circle

Gather a few trusted women who can talk openly about hormones, sleep, mood, aging, stress, and all the things women were once told to keep quiet about.

Because silence doesn’t help women.

Connection does.

Check on Your Strong Friends

The women who always seem fine may be carrying the most.

Check on them.

Ask them how they’re really doing.

And let someone do the same for you.

Final Thoughts

Menopause isn’t just about hormones and hot flashes.

It’s about navigating this season with support, love, and heaps of laughter.

It’s about choosing connection over shame.

Humor over hiding.

Honesty over pretending.

And friendship over trying to carry everything alone.

Science confirms what many of us already know:

Friendship isn’t just good for the soul—it’s good for your health.

So pick up the phone.

Send the text.

Plan the girls’ night.

And while you’re at it, tell your bestie you love her.

Tell her she matters.

Tell her she makes this wild ride of midlife a little softer, a little funnier, and a whole lot more sustainable.

Now go call your bestie.

She’s probably waiting for you to send her a meme about menopause.